1. Is the Richard Gere-Gerbil story true?
Who came third in World War Two?
Did Sooty sleep with Sue?
These things i think about,
When im out,
With you

2. What are the holes in biros for?
Which ones which in the Corrs?
Did Geoff Hurst really score?
Coz frankly your a bore,
And im not.

R: And if its leaving season,
Your second on the bill,
If you wont leave me baby,
I'll find someone who will,
I tried love, im sorry,
I tried l-love,

3. Does God ever get it wrong?
Where has Gary Barlow gone?
Why is Christmas day so long?
It just goes on and on,
And on,
Like you.

R: ...
I tried love, im sorry,
I tried l-love,

do do do do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do
I tried love, im sorry,
I tried love,

4. Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?
D'ya think Adam fancied Eve?
What if Eve could not conceive,
And he had to breed with Steve,
We'd all be gay!