There's a portrait of Uncle Alvarez
Hanging in the hall
Nobody wants to look at it
But Uncle Alvarez sees us all

Ho ho ho imaginary accomplishments
Hey hey hey you visionary guy!
You might even shake the hands of presidents
Better send a postcard and keep the family quiet

He's not really part Cherokee Indian
He didn't fight in the Civil War
He's just Eugene Isaac Alvarez
We feel sorry for the wall

And It's a long way down, you're hoping for a heart attack
Running around, investing in this and that, and your
Beautiful wife keeps your life on a shelf for you
Safe in the bedroom where there's no dust or mildew and it's
Hard to believe you were once a
Beautiful dancer...

Better just to shake it off
As you write your resume
Don't think of Uncle Alvarez
And the price he had to pay!

You might even shake the hands of presidents

Better send some money to the Alma Matter