Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees
And Begged you not to leave because I'd go berzerk?
Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone completely out of my mind

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha ha

You thought it was joke and so you laughed
You laughed when I had said
That losing you would make me flip my lid, right?
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh,
You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad

And they're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers
And chirping birds and basket weavers
Who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away ha ha

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house,
And this is how you paid me back
For all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh?
Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do
They'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice men
In their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers
And chirping birds and basket weavers
Who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha

Your home the one the bank foreclosed
You cried to me Monogamy is the way
We both must live or you'll feel hurt.
But, I see, I see there's someone new
Your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone
At our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like thorizine, and lithium, and electric shock and insulin
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha