She's The Sorta Sheila

Well there ain’t many sheilas where I come from
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
‘N’ they recon I got the ugliest one
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
‘N’ if ya had a dog that looked like that
You’d shave its arse ‘n’ teach it to walk backwards
But you couldn’t teach an animal to fuck like that
So she’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah, she’s the sorta sheila for me
She’s the sorta sheila for me
She ain’t no fuckin’ oil paintin’ but
She’s the sorta sheila for me.

Well there’s no politically correct word for fuckin’
fat
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
Bloke wants to root her gotta follow a map
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
But providing I can get drunk enough
She’s Elli McPherson when I’m upin ‘er
And even Wayne Kerry wouldn’t bother tryin’ to fuck ‘er
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah, she’s the sorta sheila for me
She’s the sorta sheila for me
She ain’t no fuckin’ oil paintin’ but
She’s the sorta sheila for me.

She’s got B.O. and she’s got bad breath
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.

She looks like a buffalo wearing a dress
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
She picks her nose and she’s always fartin’
Got saggy tits and a saggy arse
But I tell ya what mate I’m fuckin’ laughin’
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah, she’s the sorta sheila for me
She’s the sorta sheila for me
She ain’t no fuckin’ oil paintin’ but
She’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah, she ain’t to pretty and she ain’t to bright
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
She chews tobacco and she smokes a pipe
But she’s the sorta sheila for me.
She’s got the uglies and she’s got the stupids
Mate two short planks look like a computer
And I gotta do this to get the courage up to root ‘er
So she’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah, she’s the sorta sheila for me
She’s the sorta sheila for me
She ain’t no fuckin’ oil paintin’ but
She’s the sorta sheila for me.
Yeah, she’s the sorta sheila for me
She’s the sorta sheila for me
She ain’t no fuckin’ oil paintin’ but
She’s the sorta sheila for me.

Yeah you know the best bit is she’s deaf ‘n’ dumb
And her old man dropped dead and left her a pub
So I’m not as fuckin stupid as you thought I was

She’s the sorta sheila for me.
She’s the sorta sheila for me.
She’s the sorta sheila for me.
She’s the sorta sheila for me.