1. Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since i lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant, around the room and in
Ah she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
and she'll get up an' dress herself and go and have her dram
and if i chance to say a word it's well i know my doom
she'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

R: And if the devil'd take her, i'd thank him for his pain,
I swear to god I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her, I'd thank him for his pain,
Oh, I swear to god I'll hang meself if i get married again

2. When I get up at breakfast time she taps me on the head
when I come home at Dinnertime I'll find her drunk in bed
when I come home at suppertime with patience I must stop
Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops

R: And if the devil'd take her...

3. Well once I asked me scolding wife If i could go to bed
She scarce gave me an hour upon the pillow to lay me head
when like a roarin' lion she come busting down the door
she caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

R: And if the devil'd take her...


4. Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neigbourhood until she finds my face
she'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company,
saying "pettycoats is your master and forever more shall be!"

R: And if the devil'd take her... (4x)