Mark: "Hi, friends. Now just be honest about it,
friends and neighbours. Did you ever consider the
possibility that your penis, and in the case of many
dignified ladies, that size of the tities themselves
might possibly provide elements of sub-conscious
tension . . . "
Howard: See, the trouble here, Frank, lies in the fact
that on that sheet it says "that size," it doesn't say
"that the size" therefore . . .
FZ: Get a pencil and write in "that the size"
Mark: Could I have a . . .
Howard: Well, I'm sorry
Mark: " . . . weird, twisted anxieties which could
force a person to become a politician, a policeman, a
narc, a casket maker . . . "
FZ: An usher!
Jeff: A musician
Mark: "Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that
can't afford a silicon beef-up, become writers of hot
books!"
Howard: "I placed my burning phallus between her
quivering quim!"
Mark: "A carmelite nun!"
Howard: "She placed my burning phallus between her
quivering quim!"
Mark: "Or jockeys! There is no reason why you or your
loved one should suffer. Things are bad enough already
without the size of your organ adding even more misery
to the troubles of the world! If you are a lady with
munchkin tits, you can't console yourself with this age
old line . . . "
FZ: No, "you can console yourself"
Mark: "You can console yourself with this age old line
from . . . "
Howard: Simmons!
POOO-HHH! POOO-AHH-AHH!
Mark: "And if you're a guy . . . "
Howard: "Anything over a mouthful . . . "
Mark & Howard: " . . . is wasted!"
Mark: "And if you're a guy and you're ashamed of your
dick and somebody hits on you one night in a casual
conversation and turns to you and says, uh . . . "
Howard: "Eight inches or less!"
Mark: "You just swivel right back around and look this
sonofabitch straight in the eyes, and say . . . "
