- Batman:
Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck
I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck
I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash
I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash
You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby Doo mysteries
Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can
So bring it on, bitch, I'm Batman!
- Sherlock Holmes:
I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain
Dr. Watson:
Holmes explain
Sherlock Holmes:
I deduce this douce stain is Bruce Wayne
Dr. Watson:
The billionaire?
Sherlock Holmes:
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of hours
To afford the toys his needs
Dr. Watson:
Since he has no superpowers!
Sherlock Holmes:
You want to battle, bat? Bring it then
Dr. Watson:
I heard he has a British butler
Sherlock Holmes:
Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen!
You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill
My sidekick's a doctor
Dr. Watson:
Because his flows are so ill!
- Batman:
Shut up, nerds, I serve justice, so eat it
My sidekick only comes around
Robin:
When he's needed!
Boy wonder make you wonder how your ass got killed
Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville
I'll bust you with that bat-whack-rap repellant
Rappel a building,snatch a villain then by dinner be chilling
Gotta secret about your homegirl Irene Adler
Took her back to my nest, to bam pow kersplat her
I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!
Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw god damn!
Batman:
You're not smart, you're selfish, you endanger everyone's life
Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?
Nobody likes you, not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!
You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!
- Sherlock:
This mustn't register on an emotional level...
First, exploit childhood tragedy...then gesture with pipe...
Watson finishes punchline...next, acknowledge compliment
Conclude with killer catchphrase....
I believe your parent's homicide is why you mask your face
You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace
Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!
Dr. Watson:
Holmes, you've cracked the case!
Sherlock Holmes:
You're a bat shit crazy basket case!
Dr. Watson:
Bloody good rhymes!
Sherlock Holmes:
I've got tonnes!
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was elementary, my dear Watson
