Oh if I were president, I'd make you understand
No more questions no more lies,
I will tell you the truth looking in your eyes
If I were president.
Well first and for most son Jesus Christ is the only one,
You're going to talk to when your day begins.
I'm going to pass a law that says everyday you got to get down on your knees and pray,
Thank the man for dying for you sins.

If I were president, I would make you understand
Jesus is the man he's the reason that we stand, if I were president

We're gonna put the word out on the streets no more Washington, DC,
I'm gonna make this country big and strong.
No more paying of your taxes
The capital is Pampa, Texas, that's the only place a house that big belongs.

If I were president, the blue-collar man won't get the shaft.
Nobody's gonna laugh when Jason Boland is my chief of staff,
If I were president.

Well, Iraqi boys you must be nuts,
You're digging yourself deeper in a rut.
I got a way to end your problems soon.
We'll bring home every one of our boys
And pull out our biggest badest toy
And blow you crazy bastards to the moon.

If I were president, nobody's going to push us around.
If they threaten us or put us down we'll burn there county to the ground.
If I were president.

Well, I got one for you Sadaam Hussein
We'll resurrect General John Wayne,
Put together a very simple plan.
We'll put down our nukes put down our guns
And you and the duke will be one on one
And he'll kick your ass as if you were a man.

If I were president,
If I were president.
If you don't like Willie Nelson, you got to go to prison.
If I were president.
So cash your vote and make it me
And if I win the beer is free if I were president