Heard you got detention three times this week
Playing with the bad kids down by the creek
When I was your age, oh I, did the same
I'll save you some trouble, boy, and try to explain

Defcon! Tractor beams! Weaponized Funk
In walks Barberella, set to stun
Defcon! Tractor beams! Gamma ray gun
Straight out the mothership! Weaponized Funk

Let me back up 20 years or so
Before I met your mama, I was livin on the road
I met a belle from the astral planes
Hopped in my 710, I was never quite the same

Defcon! Tractor beams! Weaponized Funk
In walks Barberella, set to stun
Defcon! Tractor beams! Gamma ray gun
Straight out the mothership! Weaponized Funk

One last word to the wise, while we got time to kill
If the X-rays don't get ya, then the heartbreak surely will

When it was over, all I had to show
Big bill from Motel 6 and a broken nose
From east of Needles to eternity
Space truckin, son, ain't what it used to be

Defcon! Tractor beams! Weaponized Funk
In walks Barberella, set to stun
Defcon! Tractor beams! Gamma ray gun
Straight out the mothership! Weaponized Funk

Defcon! Tractor beams! Weaponized Funk
In walks Barberella, set to stun
Defcon! Tractor beams! Gamma ray gun
Straight out the mothership! Weaponized Funk