In My Mind

In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm 120 pounds
And I never get hungover
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
In the faraway here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
When I'm old, I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me, now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagine that I could be that person now
But that's not what I want, if that's what I wanted then I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see that I don't want to be the person that I want to be

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground, I'll start pounding the lid
Saying "I haven't finished yet –
I still have a tattoo to get
That says 'I'm living in the moment'."
And it's funny how I imagined that I could win this winless fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny that I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny if I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all to think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be