My teacher asked me where my homework was
And that's when I told her
No hablo Ingles
Policeman caught me doing 90
And that's when pulled me over
No hablo Ingles
A hippy with a tambourine
Asking me if i could spare a dollar
No hablo Ingles
Some douchebag at the club tries to pick a fight
And grabs my collar
No hablo Ingles

(One!)
When i'm not feeling it
(Two!)
When someone's full of shit
(Three!)
When i get cut off at the bar
To make a getaway
It's all you gotta say
(Quatro! Cinco! Seis!)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)

My nephew asks me if i'd take him
To the Jonas Brothers movie
No hablo Ingles
Walking my dog i see a sign that says
To please pick up the doodie
No hablo Ingles
My mum gets mad cause i never call my dad
On his birthday
No hablo ingles
A guy walks up and says
"Doda esta casel de pepe"
He no habla Ingles

(One!)
So many different uses
(Two!)
You don't need no excuses
(Three!)
It's as easy as the third grade
The perfect getaway
It's all you've gotta say
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis!)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey!)

Did you brush your teeth?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Where'd you leave your pants?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Did you feed the fish?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Do you like my band?
Wait... don't answer that...

No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles

Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey,)
Did one of you guys pee in the pool?
No hablo Ingles
Hey how 'bout we all get together
and go to the ballet?
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles
Can I borrow that beer?
No hablo Ingles!
(laughs)
No hablo Ingles
(Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo Ingles
No hablo Ingles